Nov
02

I see it every day.  I am not saying this to everyone, but in varying degrees it is true for all of us.

Your wardrobe is dead.

It no longer expresses who you are and your clothes don’t fit you properly.  The biggest telltale sign is the underwear drawer.  The panties are too tight and the elastics cut into the beautiful soft flesh of your hips, causing them to not look Rubenesque and curvy anymore.  Instead your hips have multiple curves semi-permanently carved into your flesh by the constant wearing of elestics that are too small.  Also your bra doesn’t fit you anymore.  The underwire cuts into the sides of your breasts, or the elastic has lost its strength or you have given up on wearing one all together because it is not comfortable.

There are many other signs that your wardrobe is dead to you:  You don’t feel excited in the morning when you look into your closet.  You don’t feel beautiful, powerful, sexy or self-expressed.  You say that you hate shopping.

I could go on an on, but I think some (if not all) of this resonates with you.  Here is what you can do.  This is not going to be easy.  You will feel resistance.  Push through and do it anyways:

1- Buy new panties that are the right size for the current you and one bra that was chosen for you by a professional in the underwear store.

2- Stop thinking that you should only buy clothes when you loose some weight.  You feel like you don’t like what you see in the mirror, but the rest of us see a beautiful you.  The only way for you to see the same beautiful woman that we all see is for you to accept yourself NOW and dress yourself NOW.  You may loose weight in  the future, but that future self will also need new clothes.  Commit to letting your wardrobe evolve with you your whole life long.

3- Get rid of old stuff.  As much as possible.  Invite a friend to help you eliminate if you need the push.  Open a bottle of wine.  Give yourself time to really try things on again.  Allow yourself a pile of clothes that you keep for sentimental reasons, but eliminate everything that is ill-fitting, worn out, has holes that cannot be repaired or is stylistically outdated.  Then quickly drive it all to your local charity.  There!  You just made a donation to your community.  Good stuff.

4- Think about who you are now and what you like now.  Maybe you have lots of nice clothes in your wardrobe, but they were for your 30-40-50 year old self (choose whatever age you were 10 years ago).  Either way, they don’t make you feel like the woman you want to be now.  Maybe you wore tight black clothes for a long time, but now you are ready to be seen and you want to wear red and purple.  Maybe you were very frilly and feminine and now you are more sporty?  Let your wardrobe evolve to express your current self.  It is the most simple way for you to live many different selves in your lifetime and to feel like you are living in the present.

5- Shopping doesn’t have to be so painful.  You say you hate shopping.  I agree for the most part, but there are exceptions and you might need to venture out of your neighbourhood to find them.  Ask around, ask facebook, ask the one store you do like if they would recommend other stores.  There are places with good customer service, professional stylists that serve you and know their merchandise well enough to make recommendations.  Be adventurous.  Try on new things.

6- Allow a budget for this.  I am not saying that you can’t do this on the cheap.  You can.  You can thrift shop, have things altered and organize clothing swaps.  If that sounds like too much work, give yourself a reasonable budget every season (twice per year) to update your wardrobe with some new pieces.  Think of what that budget could be for you.  Pick a number.  Now double it.  Yup.  I said it.  You can resist this advice if you want.  But if you really want to be happy and exited and be able to afford a few pieces that truly inspire you, you will find that having more money to spend actually gives you some freedom.

7- Buy some make up.  If you don’t wear make-up, buy some new fresh smelling lip balm.  Making a little effort goes a long way.  Pretty hair barrettes, a light touch of blush and a little under eye concealer are my magic trio to a quick fix in the morning.  Now go find yours.

I believe in you.  You can do this.

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5 Responses to “Are you alive? So why is your wardrobe dead? 6 not-so-easy steps to feeling new.

 
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